Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A prime example of an overworked ad writer's desperation trying to figure out how to link etiquette questions to menstrual flow. And a prime example of a blogger running out of fun things to post. Either way 'Taint fittin, kitten!' I swear I'll have something funny soon!!! This has been a bad day, I had to spend six hundred dollars to have my car fixed, and my doctor told me I was fat and I need to take in more fish oils... Anyway back to the flow...
I find a gloved hand be it velvet, silk or leather very sexy although a tad impractical in today's push button world. I'd picked up my favorite pair of gloves at of all places Farm and Fleet. They were leather and skin tight. I was sitting at a bar when this very cute guy came up and admired them and wanted to know where I got them. I told him Farm and Fleet and then said how I loved the way that they made my hands feel as I began to flex my fingers. But I lost him when I said, "You know gloves like this just make me want to strangle someone..." He left quickly.In my early 20s, I had gone out one afternoon years ago trying to get a job for some jingle-jangle in a local mall. My heart wasn't into it as I was looking for my dream career; After filling out about a dozen applications I started to be creative with my answers. This was in the day when employers could ask all sorts of questions about you. One of the applications asked me if I had any physical defects that would prevent me from doing the job. I wrote: Well I never liked my nose. I think on the Wal-mart application they asked, "How often do you change your underwear."

During one of Chicago's hottest summers, I didn't have air conditioning. A friend and I used to haunt the bars that had air conditioning until the late, late hours just standing under the A/C vents. Guys were using the fact that they had central air as a selling point to get laid. And it was working. I wish I knew about dazzledust then.
Here a blond Gene Tierney out-wows them all in white. I've never been able to tan; I'm pale as a ghost and I find sitting in the sun boring. A friend of mine was going to school in Dayton Beach and I went to visit him one summer. The beach there was more of a freeway with people driving their cars on it and really no where to go to get out of the sun. I didn't have anything to do while he was in class so he suggested me just going to the beach to wait for him for an hour. Except he didn't show up for three hours. By that time I had burnt to a nice cerise color and just layed there like Joan Crawford at the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. I was in horrible pain for the rest of my vacation.

I've always had to learn my P's and Q's the hard way. But any other tips would be greatly appreciated.

4 comments:

Aaron said...

I burned badly at Daytona Beach, too! In 1986. I still have the souvenir towel I got there. I use it for the gym now, since it wraps around me nicely.

I noticed the people having their cars on the beach there, too, and thought it was very strange. These guys thought they were the hottest of hot shit as they sat in their Cutlass Supremes. All I could think was, "My grandparents have a Cutlass Supreme. What's so sexy about that?"

Mike Lynch said...

We vacation on the beach in Prince Edward Island, Canada. Been going there for about 20 years. It rains, it's cold, beaches are rocky, deserted. No one is there. On the eastern end of the island, we saw right whales and humpbacks and seals. We love it.

But people who want to tan, people who want to shop, people who want "something" to do hate it. The collecting-sea-glass people, the sitting-and-reading people, the hiking-along-the-shore-people -- they are happy to be there.

For a guy running out of ideas, I loved this entry.

Now .. go drink a fish!

dirk.mancuso said...

How about a pic of the gloves? Damn, I love gloved hands touching me...

Johnny C said...

Those poor sad gloves are are just sitting in the backseat of my car... nor touching or sexy anymore...